I Taught My Son To Feel Insecure About His Body

Once upon a time, in the bustling chaos of motherhood, I found myself grappling with a familiar foe: my own reflection. As the mother of an eleven-month-old girl and a spirited almost three-year-old boy, I was no stranger to the relentless demands of parenting. But amidst the sleepless nights and diaper changes, I found myself wrestling with a different kind of challenge—the battle with my own body image.

It had been nearly a year since I welcomed my daughter, Kinsley, into the world, and yet, here I was, still carrying the weight of pregnancy. In those early weeks postpartum, I experienced a glimmer of hope as the pounds seemed to melt away effortlessly. But as life unfolded and the demands of motherhood pressed in, I found myself at a standstill.Enter the infamous "mommy makeover" decision: the birth control implant. Little did I know, this seemingly innocuous choice would send my weight loss journey into a tailspin.

For over three months, I watched in frustration as the scale refused to budge, and despair began to settle in. As the numbers on the scale crept upwards, so did the shadows of self-doubt and insecurity. I became a prisoner of my own negative thoughts, shunning social outings and withdrawing into a cocoon of self-loathing. But amidst the darkness, a ray of light emerged—a poignant reminder from an unexpected source. It was during a routine workout session that my son, with innocent curiosity, pointed out his protruding belly and compared it to mine. My son was standing up by the wall and said, "oh no Jordy's tummy is too big...see mommy?" as he pushed out his perfect little boy tummy. I immediately reassured him that it was okay if his tummy was bigger and he was perfect! No matter how many times I reassured him about his tummy, he still worried about it. In that moment, I realized the gravity of my own words and actions.

My son's concern mirrored my own insecurities, a sobering reflection of the impact of my self-deprecating attitude.With newfound clarity, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery—a journey not just for myself, but for the precious eyes watching my every move. I realized that my children weren't just learning from my words, but from my actions, my reactions, and my resilience in the face of adversity. As Lyndon B. Johnson once said,

"Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose."

Armed with this wisdom, I resolved to rewrite the narrative—to lead by example, to choose love over negativity, and to embrace my journey, flaws and all. In the eyes of my children, I found the courage to silence my inner critic and reclaim my sense of self-worth. And in doing so, I discovered that true beauty lies not in perfection, but in the resilience of the human spirit—a lesson I'll carry with me on this journey called motherhood.