Finding Worth in the Midst of Doubt

My heart weighs heavy with the burdens of the past year, weighed down by doubts and insecurities that seem to overshadow the love that surrounds me. As I sit down to type these words, I'm compelled to ask you a question that has echoed in my mind time and again: Do you feel worthy?

This question first surfaced in the embrace of my compassionate teacher, tears streaming down both our faces as she vowed to remind me daily of my worth and loveability. It resurfaced in the quiet confines of my counselor's office, as I shared the depths of my trauma for the first time, and he gently reassured me that what happened was not a reflection of my worth. And once more, it emerged when faced with academic challenges, prompting me to question if I truly felt deserving of success.

As I pondered this question in the solitude of my car, a sense of anger and frustration washed over me. Of course, I deserved happiness, success, and love—yet, deep within, a seed of doubt had taken root. It whispered tales of inadequacy, of unworthiness, casting a shadow of uncertainty over my every endeavor.

With each test and trial, that voice grew louder, taunting me with the belief that my happiness was fleeting, that I was destined to fail. It was a relentless battle against self-doubt, a struggle to silence the inner critic that sought to undermine my worth.

In my desperation, I turned to God, pleading for relief from the pain and a restoration of the peace I once knew. Yet, the solace I sought seemed elusive, overshadowed by the scars of past traumas and the fear of revisiting places that held painful memories.

But amidst the darkness, a glimmer of hope emerged—a simple yet profound revelation that shifted my perspective. As I read the words, "God wanted me, or He would not have sent His Son on such an expensive errand to redeem me," tears streamed down my face, washing away the doubts that had clouded my heart.

In that moment, I realized that I didn't need to earn God's love or prove my worthiness through perfect attendance at church or flawless adherence to religious rituals. Instead, I found solace in the understanding that God meets me where I am, embracing me in all my imperfections and guiding me along the path to self-acceptance.

So, if you find yourself grappling with doubts of your own, know this: You are worthy. Worthy of love, of happiness, of all the blessings life has to offer. And if you ever doubt your worth, know that you are not alone. I am here to remind you, just as others have reminded me, that you are deserving of every good thing this world has to offer.

May we find strength in our vulnerability, courage in our doubts, and solace in the unwavering love that surrounds us. And may we always remember that, no matter where life takes us, our worth remains unshakeable.